My Crazy Family  Lulu's Story
by kupochan14
Summary: The first in a series that I hope to complete! A strange family that has secrets, and then the Akatsuki appear . . . just another day in the Ryder family. Rated T for some swearing.
1. Prolouge

**A/N : Ok, well this is my first story prolouge, and stuff...yep. This idea has been floating around in my head, and i'm pretty sure that it started with a dream. :D anyways tell me whatcha think? love, hate, meh. And please don't flame me . . . it hurts the confidence. T_T *mean flamers* (at least have the decency to tell me that my writing sucks nicely) Like this one time when my goldfish- **

**aristotle29: KUPO-CHAN! . . .getting off topic a bit...just let them read the freaking story already.**

**Kupo-chan: . . . but it was so tragic . . .he died.**

**aristotle29: they don't care...**

**Kupochan: *dies***

**aristotle: don't worry she'll be fine. I hope you enjoy the story that I help out with . . .not this chapter really, but I will help later! Oh and neither Kupochan nor aristotle29 own Naruto! We own the Ryder Family though! (we're pretty sure that no one else has this story . . .)(and if they do we apologize! we had no idea...)**

This is a story about a family that defies the very existence of reality. They live in a small town, in the middle of a cornfield near Chicago, Illinois. To most people they are just a little strange, they over decorate during Halloween and Christmas; they have a lot of relatives that all live in the same house; they always seem to have strange house guests, and even though they never do much all of the kids are freakishly athletic. Not too weird, right? Just your average slightly odd family, they enroll their kids in school, go to sports events, and they tend to play music really loud at times. At least that's what the general public is led to believe by the said family.

The Ryder's are indeed a strange family as they all possess a certain ability; the ability to go to different worlds. Any world that you can think of is available, although the more people that think about it, the more likely it is that someone can jump to it. This in mind, many of the more popular series' and movies are the most problematic. Considering that there are so many different worlds, there would need to be many people right? Correct, the Ryder family is huge and they have houses all over the world, but their main house is in a little town called Turtl. In this house the younger people are trained to expect everything, not be surprised by anything, keep an open mind, and always keep your imagination in check. The family is also a firm believer in a good "normal" experience. Therefore, everyone must at least graduate high school. Some in the family have chosen against this life, which is acceptable as long as you don't tell anyone the obvious secret. Well, it is one thing to tell you all of the secrets of the secretive Ryder family, but it would be easier to let them tell you their stories.

I love my family, I really do, but sometimes I swear to whatever god that is out there that I am going to murder all of them myself. My name is Lulu, well my real name is Luliaminarenika Ryder, but that is only when my mom calls me when I forget to clean my room. The reason that I am angry with my family is that I had to stay up late writing a paper that I got assigned on Monday, and due on Tuesday. Not too bad right? Well, maybe for "normal" people it isn't, but I'm not normal. Neither is my psychotic family unit. Have you ever tried to write a paper when two deranged men singing opera while fighting each other over a girl are downstairs? I didn't think so. Especially with **paper walls!** I mean I hated plastering the walls too, but sound can travel perfectly! Nothing against their voices though, it was very nice to listen to, but that's the problem. Technically only half of my problem though. You see this morning, after staying up until 3:42 A.M. I get woken up to guess what? A GIANT, TALKING, RED DOG! Now, don't judge me too harshly, I love dogs, and this isn't even the weirdest thing that I have woken up to, but I just wasn't in a good mood. I'll just begin my very own crazy story right here.

**A/N**

**Kupochan:yea i know that this is just a prolouge don't worry there is another chapter, because i will love all who read this and hopefully update soon enough!**

**aristotle29:yea right you're too lazy**

**kupochan: but i will because i love the people who read this!**

**aristotle29: . . . sure**


	2. Singing Men and Red Dogs

**A/N**

**kupochan14: Alright on with the first chapter! It's kinda confusing, and i apologize if I made some horrible grammar mistakes! :/**

**aristotle29: psh i checked it too! at least there aren't any horribly obvious mistakes . . . probably.**

**kupochan: oh and neither of us own naruto! but that would be sweet if we did.. Because then we would know how it ended and-**

**aristotle29 *facepalm* excuse my friends ADD/ADHD *smacks kupochan14* **

**Kupochan14: . . . owie... *glares***

The Story of Lulu

I woke up, and rolled over to look at my alarm clock. I cursed and jumped out of my bed, grabbing some clean clothes from the floor as I sprinted to the kitchen. Before I could even get to the kitchen I was covered in red fluff.

"WHO HAS THE BIG RED DOG!" I yelled as I found a lint roller and got dressed awkwardly in the kitchen, looking for the bread. My cousin Hans was at his computer on the kitchen table, sipping a cup of tea; Uncle Denis was looking for something under the fridge, and my other cousin Brian was running after a massive, red dog with a leash.

"IT'S MINE, DON'T WORRY! I AM IN TOTAL CONTROL! AND IT TALKS TOO! DON'T FORGET THE TALKING!" He yelled as I sighed and took off for the bathroom to get ready for school somewhat. I threw open the door to the massive bathroom and ran over to my area of the bathroom. I raked a brush through my hair, and ignored all of my siblings that also occupied the large area. I ducked as I dodged a bottle of empty shampoo being thrown across the room. I finished brushing my teeth, and ran back to my room, which was covered in more red fluff. I was searching frantically for my volleyball bag, but no such luck.

"I FOUND IT!" Uncle Denis yelled from somewhere.

"No you didn't." yelled some other family member.

"Yes, actually I did."

"Really? I doubt it."

"Oh My God just SHUT THE F*** UP!" Yelled Elli

*SMACK* "We do not swear in this house young lady!" reprimanded my Mother.

I sighed again in frustration as I found my volleyball bag covered in more red fluff. As I sprinted into the living room, I was blasted by air. 'So much for my hair'

"I told you that I found my fan!" said Denis triumphantly.

"I only asked if you were sure." Replied Hunter. I glanced at the clock as I ran towards the front door. I was really late for school. I yanked on my shoes and started to leave when an arm prevented me from doing so. I grabbed said arm reflexively, and started to defend instinctively, but was deflected. I then realized that it was only my brother, Max.

"Hey, I'm late too. Do you want a ride?" he asked calmly, considering everyone attacks everyone else a lot in this family, you just have to be quick. ;)

"Yea sure, sorry about that. Thanks." I replied sheepishly.

"Not a problem, let's get going." He said as we ran out the door the massive garage that held a grand total of 7 cars, 3 vans, 1 bike, and 4 motorcycles. He yanked a set of keys from the key rack and ran over to his yellow motorcycle. He started it up and then we sped off to school with 5 minutes until the bell rang.

I slammed down my books on my desk then proceeded to fall into my seat as the tardy bell rang for school to start. English was my first class of the day, and I had to turn in that stupid essay. Then it dawned on me. . . I had never printed it out. All of that work for nothing, nada, zero points. I slammed my head into the desk twice.

"Dude, what happened to you?" my friend Erin asked.

"I forgot the damn thing, I forgot to print it, and I wasted all of that effort!" I said with a frustrated sigh. There was a knock on the door just as our teacher was about to collect our papers. She opened the door and there stood my cousin Hans, he was a senior, and he had something in his hand.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but my dear cousin left her folder on the kitchen table this morning and I needed to get it to her lest she need it." He explained rather theatrically. The folder in his current possession clearly said math all over it, and he set it on my desk. I was really confused by this point. But lo and behold my essay was indeed inside of the folder, and a note that claimed that he had edited the whole thing for me since the Phantom of the Opera fiasco was his doing. I mouthed a 'thanks' to him as he walked out the door. I turned in the sadistic form of torture referred to as homework and proceeded t put my head down and take a much needed nap.

Now normally in class when one drifts off into Lala land you may be nicely woken up by a friend, or even by a teacher yelling at you, or maybe slip in your own drool. Sadly, as I have mentioned, I am not normal. Therefore, I was woken up by a sharp pain at the base of my neck. For a "normal" person one would think 'Hm, I must have slept wrong.' To a Ryder this means 'I've got trouble, and there are people . . . great.' -_-

The sharp pain woke me up, and I was fully alert in seconds. I looked around for anything out of the ordinary. When I didn't see anything yet I whipped out my phone and dialed speed dial 3. This is for the Diversion Squad. They consist of the younger people in the family, considering that they get to have fun with it. I knew that the incoming guests were going to be many in numbers, power, and popularity considering the pain in my neck was quite, well, painful. Then I heard a boom that shook the school, followed by a bunch of laughing and the sound of running feet.

"THAT WAS AWESOME!"

"Heck yes it wa—"

"YOU KIDS GET BACK HERE!" I heard our principle yelling down the hall. I kind of giggled to myself as a smoke started to waft into our room. The stuff smelled horrible, but was harmless. I hid in a closet as the rest of the class was evacuated. When they had left and I was alone I stepped out of the closet and got into a ready stance. All of our life from the moment we make our first jump, as a Ryder you are trained to expect everything, not be surprised by anything, keep an open mind, and always keep your imagination in check. As a kid you are in the diversion squad because that's when you are the best at destroying things, then you graduate to your desired specialty, and you can even make one up, as long as it is useful it doesn't matter what it is. My name is Lulu Ryder, I am 5'2" with dirty blonde hair and hazel eyes; my specialty is Anime & Manga.

I stayed in my ready position and kick myself for having forgotten to bring Momo, and my katana. I waited with my knives at the ready hoping for something peaceful like The Ouran High School Host Club, or maybe even hentai since they are almost always easy to beat up. The air was becoming colder, and I knew that my guests were coming. The temperature then dropped even more and shadows started appearing. Well, they were more like dark outlines, but you get the point. As their bodies formed in color and they appeared I almost let my mouth hang open, and thanked whatever god that was listening. You see, another thing about jumping, any special powers that you posses from your world take about 43 hours longer to get there. I reflexively started my watch to keep their times. Then I realized that they were still very dangerous, and they were angry. I found myself surrounded by the Akatsuki from Naruto. . . just great.

**A/N**

**kupochan14: Muahaha . . .cliffhanger. well tell me what you think...ill try to have another chapter ready soon it's halfway written! And if anyone want's me to put a list of all family members on my profile page i can, it will get confusing later . . .there are more . . .many, many more.**

**aristotle29: They really do remind me of your family . . .besides the obvious *hand motions* . . .yea REVIEW! (and check out my stories :D)**

**kupochan14: and if anyone got the Phantom of the Opera and Clifford references (which i don't own) *hugs***


	3. The Akatsuki and Lazy Tech People

**A/N:**

**Kupochan14:YAY new chapter!**

**Aristotle29:Yea FINALLY . . . you are too lazy.**

**Kupochan14: *cries* that's so mean.**

**Aristotle29: The truth hurts . . .**

**Kupochan14: *screams* **

**Aristotle29:What!**

**Kupochan14: Well you said it hurts . . . so. I. Screamed. :D**

**Aristotle29:Ohmygosh . . . *SMACK* She's too . . . special . . . to own Naruto, and any other stories mentioned. **

**Kupochan14:*rubs head where she got hit* Yea but i'm just special enough to own the Ryder family, and Turtl! HA! *SMACK* ow. Anyways, onward to the story!**

They zeroed in one me at once, but you could tell that some of them were about to snap.

"WHAT THE F*** IS F****** GOING ONE HERE. THIS IS—"

"Hidan . . . shut up." Kakuzu reprimanded.

"I'm with Hidan on this one, yeah."

"Who's this cutie?" Kisame inquired to no one in particular.

"She couldn't have done this, she is too weak looking."

"HEY!" I yelled as they all looked at me with murderous intent."No, it isn't my fault; no you may not kill me, it is confusing to explain why you are here because even I don't know." Well that was kind of the truth. "Oh! And don't call me cutie, fish face. It's weird."

"Do you know who you are yelling at, girl?" asked Sasori with a questioning gaze.

"Yep."

. . . *crickets*

"That's it? Just . . . yep? You aren't afraid for your life, or maybe a bit scared for what may become of you. Not at all concerned as to why this is happening here and now, as if this is a normal thing. Or the fact that we are all members of the Akatsuki, and group of 'S' ranked missing shinobi! Just . . . yep?" I wondered if he even took a breath during that sentence . . . but maybe Sasori doesn't have lungs.

"Uh-huh. Well, at least you can't use chakra as I'm sure most of you have realized." I questioned moving to a seemingly unguarded stance.

"Irrelevant. You know that we are Akatsuki, we don't need chakra to take down a girl." Pein smirked as Deidara and Hidan charged at me. 'Okay well they are bigger than me, and obviously stronger, can't win this with brute strength; plus I'm outnumbered; ok I hope that this works.'

I quickly got out of their way as I flipped over them. They were still getting used to having no chakra to help their speed. That's another advantage. As soon as I landed I ran to them and hit their pressure points to prevent them from hurting me, but I didn't hurt them, nor did I intend to. Next came Kisame, he could still use his sword . . . hehehe . . . it looks like a giant tampon. I just had to stop and remember this moment in time, I wish I had a camera.

"What are you looking at kid?" Kisame shouted

"It *giggle* I'm sorry *laugh* it's just that it looks like a giant tampon! *laughs*"

*silence*

"What's a tampon?" that all asked in unison, besides the quiet ones, like Itachi, Konan, Zetsu, and surprisingly Tobi. This statement only made me laugh more.

' _Luliaminarenika! These are criminals who aren't happy right now. Control yourself!'_

Oh, did I forget to mention that Ryder's all have an overactive conscience that yells at us. Also, if you haven't guessed, most of my family had severe ADD and ADHD issues. Therefore, thank god we have psycho, annoying, bitchy voices in our head.

"Do you really want to know?" I asked containing a giggle.

"Yea . . . " they replied. Then I motioned them closer so that they could hear my explanation.

*whisper whisper*

The response was a few nose bleeds, and collective faces of

O.o

O.O

O/. /O and

. . . -_- You can guess who had which face on your own.

All of the guys then gave Konan one collective look, besides Itachi and Pein. (Who I assume already had known). As this whole charade was taking place I called in for the distraction squad to bring a bigger surprise. I needed this in order to get out of here, with the Akatsuki, and peacefully.

It was a good thing that I made that call as soon as I did, for at that moment I felt a cool metal being pressed at my throat, and not in a nice way.

"I suggest that you start talking girl." Came a monotone voice that only could've been one person in any existence.

"My name is Lulu. And I'm your only chance right now. You aren't in your world anymore, just so ya know—could you lower that kunai, thanks—and I'll guarantee that nothing bad will become you, or your fluffy-cloud gang of doom. Now could you please remove the knife?" as I said this he lowered the kunai, as I tucked away the knife I had aimed at a bad place for Itachi. ^_^ I looked at the Akatsuki standing before me, and I knew that this mission was going to be tough enough. I hoped that the Diversion Squad had thought of something that would really distract people from us somehow leaving. And I also had the issue of getting these guys to believe that they needed to come with me, or face some serious consequences; and try not to let them know that I knew all about their past, present, and future.

"Ok, well, if you could all follow me?" I tried.

"No."

"Darn."

"You're going to have to give us a better explanation that this." Stated Pein.

"MY NAME'S TOBI!" yelled Tobi.

"MY NAME'S LULU!" I replied.

'_You need to get out of the school right now, and fast. Stop screwing around, and convince them somehow.'_

_**'How?'**_

_'Think about it, they're ninjas, and they need a reason that would be to their benefit, and yours. Compromise, but try to sound smart . . .for your own sake._

_'__**Wow, thanks'**_

"Ok, Ok. If you come with me to the House, then I will tell you all that there is to tell, and I will get you home as soon as I possibly can. And if not . . . you can kill me! *huge smile*

"#$%&%$#*&#%%$##$$$%$##$."

"No, Hidan. We won't do that to her, that would be rude . . . and leave a big mess."

"F***."

"Well we can't trust her, yeah!"

"But we have absolutely no idea where we are, none of us have chakra, and she claims that the consequences would be bad."

"Are you saying that we should trust her?"

"Did I ever say that, Fish?"

"You sure as hell sounded like it, Puppet!"

"Did no one hear the part where you could kill me?" I muttered to myself, forgetting that they could all hear me anyways.

"So why shouldn't we kill you right now?" (You can just guess who asked this question)

"Oh, well because you would all die."

. . .

"Well I think we should just go with her, un."

"But what if she kills us all anyway? That could be her entire plan."

"Wow, for being really smart, you guys really think too much. Just come with me so we can talk about this else where, just not here. This is a public school, and I can't have people seeing you . . . you all look to weird. No offense." I stated

"What do you mean 'weird'?"

"Well there's that man-eating/man-looking/plant-looking dude, and the Fish –SHARK! Don't Care!—and metal face over there, Miss Blue, creepy wrinkles/ glare face, he/she, puppet, zombie/Frankenstein, and Tobi.

*blank looks*

"Well I just wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable if people stared . . . jeez, touchy."

"I think that we should go with her." Now this surprised me. The big brother of doom agreed with me, this would make my list of awesome life accomplishments. Then he and Pein shared a 'look' , like a 'why not?' look. Then Peain nodded to Itachi all leaderly-like.

"We will go with you for now, but if need be we will take you up on your offer." Said Itachi in monotone. I beamed.

"Alright! This way please. And if you hear, and/or see, and/or feel anything weird, just disregard it please. It will be a distraction for the other 'normal' people." I said still happy with myself for pulling this off.

"You act like this is all a normal occurrence, you aren't even surprised in the least."

"You were even expecting us, yeah." Added Deidara

"I know, and it probably seems weird and stuff, but this kind of stuff is in fact normal for me. I will explain everything later when we get to the House though." I was about to open the door out of the classroom when I remembered to put in my ear piece for tech help getting through the school. I put in my little Bluetooth thing and connected to David, our technology coordinator in Turtl.

"David? This is Lulu, and I need cameras offline, please and thank you."

"Just a sec . . . . *hears crashes* F***"

"DAVID! QUIT PLAYING VIDEOGAMES!"I screamed into the headset, alarming the Akatsuki.

" . . . but it's Black Ops . . ."

"I swear, when I get home . . . I'll go get Ed again! Don't think that I wont! Or even better, I'll go get your worst nightmare . . .*evil chuckling*"

"OkOk! I give up, you're at school right? –yep—Ok there you go, they're all offline, you have ten minutes, oh and the Diversion Squad are almost done getting the distraction ready, so hurry."

"Thanks David! Alright guys, are you ready?

*silence*

"Kay, let's go then." With that I opened the door, and stepped out cautiously and motioned for them to follow quietly. Which they probably would've done anyways, but you never know. Then I felt a small explosion . . . and whatever the Diversion Squad has conjured up was taking place, and considering the screams outside, it must be working. So I broke into a run to the best exit, the one away from all of the screams, and opened it. I looked around and made sure that there weren't any students or teachers, then took off as fast as I could towards the House. By the time we neared my house, I was breathing hard –I wasn't like having an asthma attack, but still—and the ninjas weren't even breathing hard at all . . . jealousy.

We finally arrived at the House, but I had to tell these guys a few things, otherwise they would end up dead, or someone else would end up dead, then I would end up dead. Well it would be really, really bad.

"Ok ninjas. There are a few things that you should know before you go into the House. One; DON'T KILL ANYONE! Two; Try not to be surprised by the randomness/modnarness of everything. Three; you probably won't have a bathroom to yourself, deal. Four; be nice to the maintenance division, they hate us all anyway. Five; Don't insult my mom's cooking, you will die. Six; Don't take away David's video games, you will die. Seven; -this is the most important—DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, TAKE THE HOUSE OFFLINE. YOU. WILL. NOT. LIVE. Ok there are like a million more, but you all seem pretty smart!" I said as I opened the door to the House and walked in to my family getting ready for lunch . . . and mom was cooking. Great.

**A/N:**

**Kupochan14: HA! chiffhanger! I'm so mean ^_^**

**Aristotle29: I hate cliffhangers.**

**Kupochan14:It's ok, you kind of know where this is going, for now at least . . . cuz then i really have no idea... yea R&R=love=faster updating!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hello, ok i know that i have been really lazy and haven't updated, but i am right now! :)**

**Aristotle29: yea finally . .**

**Kupochan14:Well, so mean... *sniffs***

**Aristotle29: shutup already i need to read the story!**

**Kupochan14:okok I don't own anything that isn't affiliated with the Ryder family, and since i mention a few countries in this chapter as whereabouts of other family members, they were honestly the first countries that popped into my head and nothing besides that, i would never mean any offense :) **

"Duck." I said as I ducked and an avocado flew through the air where my head had been moments ago. "Hi Mom! What's for lunch?" I asked as I gestured for the Akatsuki to follow me since they looked very . . . uneasy.

"Oh! I'm making spaghetti!"

"Then why the avocado, un?"

*SMACK*

"What the hell was that for, yeah!" yelled Deidara.

"You were warned not to insult the cooking." Sasori pointed out.

"Ok, great, I love your spaghetti Mom! I'll get my people ready for lunch!"

"Ok HONEY!" she called after me as my group of ninjas followed me down the hall. We kept walking, and walking, and then climbed some stairs to get to the bathroom.

"Ok guys, and Konan. You all should get ready for lunch if you want to eat. The boy's bathroom is to the right, and girl's to the left. Don't trash the bathrooms, please!"

"So, when are you going to explain our situation to us in depth?"

"After lunch."

"Why not now?"

"I'm hungry . . . why else would I wait? C'mon guys seriously, think a little." As I said this Hidan lunged for my neck, and I moved out of the way.

"WHAT THE F*** AREN'T YOU TELLING US, AND WHY ARE YOU KEEPING EVERYTHING FROM US!" Yelled Hidan still trying to attack me.

"I'm keeping everything from you because it takes forever to tell! My god, have some patience, will ya!" I yelled right back as he swung at me again. Before I could duck, a blur of black impaired my vision for a split second, and a force shoved me away from Hidan. When I saw who had separated us I had to smile a little, the Akatsuki's faces were very . . . interesting. The blur of black was my cousin, Angel. Her background is defiantly an odd one, but that's a different story.

Regardless, of the ominous 'that's a different story' thing, you do need a little background on my mysterious cousin. She's actually adopted! Well, she actually just appeared one day, and had one bad case of amnesia. The only thing she could remember was how to talk in some strange language, and how to deal with weapons. And I mean ANY weapon, from knives and swords to M-16's and even how to drive a TANK! (That was a bad idea . . .) Anyways, since we decided that she needed a name, we dubbed her Angel! (Kind of more my idea, as a spoof off of Angel Beats! But shhhh!) She has shoulder length brown hair, and eyes that change color. (Her eyes personally scare me . . .) And she generally wears black, I haven't the slightest clue as to why black is her favorite color, but to each her own I guess.

(Back to story)

The Akatsuki were probably calculating how this girl could've even moved Hidan. And personally, at times like this I wonder too, I just don't particularly care.

"I'm going to have to ask you not to fight in the house please." Came Angel's polite voice

"Yeah? Well I'm going to do whatever the He** I want!" yelled Hidan rather loudly

"Then I will have to detain you—

"No, Angel they are just confused right now, I haven't been able to tell them too much yet. At least give them a day—OH—and could you get the bracelets from Weapon Storage please? Since no one trusts me with the password . . ." I mumbled

"Alright!" she replied happily. I sweatdropped. That girl was way too bi-polar.

"Oh, and Angel! Lunch is ready!" I called, hoping that she heard me. I turned to face the Akatsuki, and was once again faced with their intimidating essence that emanated from them.

"Okay, if I don't tell you what's going on right after lunch, then you can kill me!" I said happily, with my mind on food.

I power walked into the bathroom, and washed my hands quickly, then ran all of the way to the kitchen and grabbed a chair. The Akatsuki followed me and mimicked what I did. (Although Itachi was creepy good at copying . . . with the sharingan and all) I took my chair and placed it right behind the couch, then propped my feet on the back of the couch. Then the Akatsuki all did the same. *sweatdrop*

"Guys, you don't have to sit like this if you don't want to. We aren't all this weird."

"DUDE THAT WAS SO AWESOME! BEST. DISTRACTION. EVER!" came the shouts of our oh so lovable Diversion Squad from the door. The most of the Akatsuki dropped everything and went into a fighting stance.

"Easy guys! They are the reason you got out of the school easily, and they're just kids, so chill." I say as I try to calm them down. Which doesn't work very well considering a bunch of blue painted men in skirts came running through the room screaming about freedom, with a half naked, blue painted, teenage boy named Hunter(we met him earlier, remember?) ran after them shouting at them to stop and reassess the battle plan. I sighed and decided that the ninjas would probably want an explanation by now. I put down my food reluctantly and motioned for them to follow me.

~blah~blah~

We were headed to my little room in the maze of hallways that made up the House. Once we finally got there I decided that my room was too small for all of us and we all sat in the hallway outside of my room instead. I motioned for all of them to sit down and took a deep breath.

"Ok, since this will be a long explanation, I'm going to have to ask you all to leave questions until the end, and be patient with me, please and thank you. *deep breath* As you all know my name is Lulu, which is short for Luliaminarenika. I am a member of a very large and old family known as the Ryders. We are given this name because of our ability to 'ride' the trans-dimensional waves (or highways, if you will) between different worlds. Simply put, we have a knack for going from one made up world to another, and bringing them to this particular reality. Since there are so many realities, we have certain types, or genre's if you will, assigned to certain people. We are allowed to choose, or even make one up, but that is a tough decision. There are also teams assigned for particular things in Base Reality (here) so we still seem normal, and so that the government doesn't know what we can and are doing. Another major group is our violence members, who have bases in Italy and Canada, they are there for the crazy fictional people who must be dealt with. Which is why I'm trying to keep you all from going psycho killer. So, how did you get here, I honestly don't know how it works, but our power draws you to us, in a way. . . I think. How do you get back, well that can depend on a few things. The dimensional highways can be finicky sometimes, especially with groups as popular as yours. I better just open the floor for questions right now." I said sighing and looking at the Akatsuki's bewildered faces.

"I don't believe you." Came Deidara's voice.

"Shocker . . . well I guess that sucks, doesn't it?" I retorted

"You are saying that we aren't real! That we are some, some made-up people?" came the same artist.

"No, I'm saying that you aren't in your reality. I'm also saying that a large portion of this particular reality happens to know an awful lot about you."

"How?" asked Sasori.

"That's one of those unknown factors, but we have noticed that the more popular that one other dimension becomes, the more likely we will have people from that reality appear."

"What does getting back . . . depend on?" asked Pein

"It depends. I guess I could try the regular way first though." I said as I stood up motioning for them all to do the same. I opened the door to my room and we crammed all of the Akatsuki into the tiny room. I went over to my closet, and got out Momo, my katana. The Akatsuki tensed for an attack.

"Oh relax, every family member has a weapon of choice that can help with jumping from world to world. Since I still kind of suck at jumping, I need Momo to help me out."

"What do you mean you 'suck' at this?" asked Kisame

"Well I've only done this a few times before, but no worries!" I said as they all sweatdropped.

Ok, quick lesson on jumping. It is not an exact science, actually it's probably the farthest thing from it. It will take you where you want to go, but you have to really want to go there. As you already know, our family is cursed with severe ADHD so that we are quick to react to any potentially dangerous situation, but because of this we get thrown into harm's way more often than not. You see, if I happen to think of any other place than my desired destination, I might happen to jump there before my mind can process that I thought the wrong thing. With ADD and ADHD, this can be difficult(You know, we think we are thinking NarniaNarniaNaria, but were really thinking Narnia…dun dun duuu da dun dun duuuuuuuda, and the next thing you know you are stuck in a mission impossible world). Of course there is also the off chance that it won't even work at all. (You know the Great Chicago fire? Yea, it's generally a good idea to get a dragon home fast.) Anyways, generally the younger generation of Ryder, me, needs a weapon (or really anything, but generally a weapon) to help in the concentration of thoughts. Our weapons/objects of choice are specially made by a branch of our family that lives in Russia (I don't know why they live is Russia though, shipping costs suck.) They are made exactly as the owner wants it to be made, then, when we get it back we give it a full name. That name (it has to be one of a kind) then becomes a trigger-word of sorts, thus enabling jumping. Or at least, it's something like that. ^_^

"What just happened in your world?" I asked

"Why is that relevant?" asked Pein

"Otherwise you could all die in the wrong time, time travel is a no-no and kills people without mercy." Which was a complete lie, but I didn't want them to disrupt their own timeline, and try to change things.

"Deidara and Sasori were on their way to capture Shukaku." Came a hesitant reply from Pein.

"Thank you." I said sweetly as I focused, and imagined where and when I wanted to be. I focused on a desert in the land of sand, the heat, and the random pieces of rock that were on the ground every now and then. In my head I called for Momo, using her really long first name that I don't want to type but will if you ask me too. I exhaled. My eyes shot open—Ah fu-

**A/N: Muahahahahaha, what happened? I don't know! I apologize for grammatical errors, as i am sick currently _ R&R! 3**


	5. Things Go Wrong

**A/N: I know, I suck. Here is my pathetic excuse for a chapter. I do apologize for the wait. I love you all, and I'm stupid for taking forever. I have been busy . . . procrastinating. But all good things come to those who wait, right? Hehe well here is my very short action packed chapter full of probable grammar errors.**

**Disclaimer: I own Lulu and her family, but nothing else . . . yeah.**

"F my life." I scanned my surroundings and swore at myself for being such an idiot. Why does my mind hate focus? Why! It was dark out and before I could even start telling the Akatsuki members to gather around me again, a man wearing a suit and carrying a box on his back ran by us with a teenage girl following him. They abruptly stopped when they saw us. Of course the Akatsuki got into fighting positions, because of course they would never be nice people and everyone is trying to kill them. *sigh*

"Great. Akatsuki, meet Haji and Saya. Haji and Saya meet the Akatsuki. Yay, everyone knows each other now, moving on."

"Lulu? Dang, it's been awhile." Saya said sounding a little confused.

"Yea I know, right? I hope that life has been treating you well and everything, but I am in the middle of an issue right now. I have to get these criminals/not that bad of people back to their home and stuff."

"Criminals?" Tobi asked meekly.

"Not that bad of people?" I offered.

"We are labeled as an "S" rank criminal organization." Sasori added.

"That kills people." Kisame agreed.

"Or eats them."

"**They taste good."**

"Not all of the time."

"How did I end up with this job. . . So you can tell that I have my hands full. Have a nice night fighting whatever you two!" I called as I started to drag the Akatsuki away (which failed).

"I thought that you said that you were good at this?" Pein asked skeptically with a very unpleased expression.

"Yeah, un! You told us we could go home, yeah!"

"Do you know how many things run through my mind in one single moment? No, you don't so shut up. I am trying as hard as I possibly can to get you all home, _trust me._ There are many circumstances that factor into these situations." I grumbled.

"Such as?" asked Sasori.

"Where to begin? Um, well I could just really suck at this job, someone else wanted to travel to that exact time and place at the exact time as us, or the Mary Sues are after us . . . again."

"Who is Mary Sue?"

"More like what is a Mary Sue, and you would have to see it to believe it. Just be weary of supermodels walking around with supernatural powers and perfect hair, and perfect nails, and skimpy outfits, et cetera." I explained.

"What's so bad about that, un?" Asked Deidara, I face palmed.

"They will eat your face, and then kill you using the most brutal forms of torture possible before they let you die painfully." I said morbidly. All of that was almost a total lie, but they are evil.

"A lot of people want to do that to us anyway, I rather die by the hands of a pretty girl myself." Kisame pointed out.

"You are missing the point. . ." I sighed.

"So how do you know those two who were running by?" Pein asked.

"Oh, them? I found them walking around my town one day looking very confused. I had seen the anime and I instantly recognized them and directed them home, every now and then I end up here because they were one of my first missions." I told them with slight nostalgia.

"So when the F*** are we going to get the f*** out of here, bitch?" asked Hidan.

"Right! Ok, let's try this again! Are you all ready? Here we go." I said as I closed my eyes and focused again. I called for Momo once more and pictured a desert and blah blah. I felt the familiar pull and let the travel happen. I opened my eyes and didn't have time to scream.

We fell a short distance into water and I came spluttering to the surface. How did I even. . . oh. Desert+ dry= thirsty. Hence the water, lovely. Where are we now. . .

"What the FU** girl!" Hidan screamed while we all swan for the shore of a nearby island. I was really tired all of the sudden and wavered as I stood up. I hoped that none of them saw that, but I knew that a few of them had.

"Give it a rest Hidan." Kakuzu chided.

"Where are we now girl, not that I'm complaining. I do like water." Kisame asked.

"Um . . . give me a sec." I looked around at my surroundings, trying to find some sort of indication of where we were. Besides this island, there really wasn't anything around. Wonderful.

"Is this island moving?" Kisame asked no one in particular. I looked at the water, lo and behold, we were moving. That gave me an idea.

"No way." I mumbled as I took off into the trees that seemed to make up the rest of this 'island'.

"Where the F** is that girl going now?" Hidan asked.

"As if any of us could possibly have an answer."

"Tobi likes the moving island!"

"Shut the f*** up Tobi."

"OK!"

I ran through the trees and brush until I came across a familiar geometric clearing. I had forgotten how much energy traveling took out of me, thus I was very out of breath from that short jog through the woods. I was alone in the clearing, but I knew that I wouldn't be for long. I sat down and waited about thirty seconds before a kid entered the clearing. This kid had blue arrows on his hands and head, he was bald, and he had a flying lemur with him.

"Hello Aang! It's been a long time hasn't it?" I said.

"No way! Lulu? I haven't seen you since I was in Ba Sing Se! Where are we?" He asked me.

"On a giant swimming lion-turtle thing." I shrugged at him.

"Haha, yeah right. So how long are you staying?" He asked me, sitting down.

"I'm actually gonna go as soon as my merry group of criminals show themselves." I told him simply. He looked very confused until the Akatsuki came out of the foliage and into the clearing.

"Who is this boy, or should we even ask?" came Pein's voice.

"It's easier not to ask, but he's an acquaintance of mine. Nice to see you Aang, but I have to get these guys home." I explained.

"Ok, uh, have fun!" He exclaimed.

"Time of my life." I mumbled as I took out Momo once again. We walked a little ways away from Aang and I tried for the third time to go to the right place. I focused once again, but this time I was distracted by someone saying something about a link to the sky, or something like that, and before my mind could stop itself we were whisked off. As soon as I opened my eyes I knew that we were screwed unless I did something fast. We were currently falling through the air. When someone said 'Link' I instantly thought of The Legend of Zelda, then the word sky, I thought of the sky temple in Twilight Princess. So here we are falling towards Lake Hylia, and something makes me think that we wouldn't just lose a few health hearts if we hit the water.

"Come closer to me!" I yelled over the roar of the wind. The Akatsuki did as instructed for once and I focused on anywhere but here. The moving target was twice as hard to concentrate on and took much more energy than a regular trip, so this was really going to drain me, but it's better than dying I guess. I felt the pull and I didn't want to open my eyes.

I did open them though, but that itself was a workout. How pathetic am I? I forced them open and found my self in a town, probably one of those high school animes.

"That was close." I grumbled as I sat up and tried to get the world to stop spinning and look at the Akatsuki.

"You think? What happened?" asked Sasori.

"Someone said something that reminded me of a video game and we ended up there instead." I said as I tried to stand but ended up on the ground again.

"How much does traveling take from you?" Itachi asked in monotone what I had hoped no one would notice.

"Wow Itachi, I'm proud, I think that's the only time you've talked to me without threatening me." I replied with a tired smile.

"Don't change the subject." He said.

"Ok, I'm not sure how to explain it, but each jump takes a certain amount of energy. The amount of energy depends on the circumstances surrounding the jump," I explained as I yawned. I took in their blank faces and sighed, "It's like chakra." I think they understood it better as I explained it that way.

"So, how many more jumps do you have?" Sasori asked.

"I would say about two, but that may be pushing it." I stated.

"What if we don't get home?"

"Then you have to stay at the House until I can get you home." I answered.

"What if we decide to kill you here and now?" Pein asked.

"You wouldn't get home."

"Tobi thinks that Lulu should live!" Tobi exclaimed, which makes me weary of his intentions. I have nothing against Tobi; it's Madara that worries me. I know that they are the same person, but when Madara is Tobi, he's harmless but when Tobi is Madara I feel the need to hit him with a shovel.

_'Lulu, you need to focus, you are almost out of energy here. You don't want to pass out or worse.'_

'Haven't heard from you in awhile . . . I should name you.'

_'That's great and all, but you need to get these guys home ASAP.'_

'Hush hush, I'm thinking Paul.'

_'You realize that you just gave your own girl mind a masculine name, right?'_

'Jo?'

_'Still kinda boarder line there, how about Jamie!'_

'GOD NO, remember that one Jamie?'

_'Oh, right. How about Lea, that's similar enough to your name right? So then neither of us will forget?'_

'I like it!'

_'Ok, good. By the way, you have been spacing out for awhile now.'_

I shook my head and saw a lot of confused faces looking back at me.

"Sorry, I spaced out there for a bit."

"We thought that you were thinking of a plan to get us out of here, you seemed rather . . . contemplative." Pein remarked.

"Well, I was doing that too!" Man at this rate I was going to be killed by these guys, it's a good thing that they want to go home so badly. I shakily stood up and got a few doubtful glances, psh , I have been training for Jump exhaustion. I knew that I had enough left for a few trips. God I hope they don't start worrying about me. . . gross I would be like a Mary Sue.(A/N: I really hope that statement isn't ironic..) I shivered and got out Momo once again; it's a good thing that I can't lose her. She shall always appear.

**A/N:I know this is a stupid place to end a chapter, but I have to go to Chicago( to stay for a week!) in like 2 hours and I haven't packed yet, so I'm sorry, but I know that someone will be happy that I updated! Bye!**


	6. Robots and Ninjas

**A/N: Ok here is another update! It gets interesting! Yay, something happens! I know my grammar sucks, sorry. On another note I love Vocaloid!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto, blah blah.**

**I'm hungry for watermelon.**

Because she is an awesome magic sword of awesome . . . ness. I took a shaky breath and focused once again. The Akatsuki were silent which helped me tremendously with focus. I let out my breath and felt the slight tug of travelling and I was blasted with a wall of sound and gunfire. I felt a searing pain in my side and I hit the ground so I could reduce my target size. Where the heck were we? I looked up and around me at these huge robot things that were shooting at each other and there was a fight going on all around me. I looked for the Akatsuki and saw them with a look of raw determination on their faces. Then it hit me, we were in Code Geass.I only watched three episodes of that . . lovely. I ignored the pain in my side and slowly got up . . . and fell back down. Okay, no ignoring pain. The Akatsuki crowded around me and looked to me for what was going on. I waved them off and used Momo to get into a sort of standing position. We had to get out of this battle. I began to walk, but stopped in my tracks when I heard a very girly scream from a ways behind me. I slowly turned to see a supermodel being grabbed by one of the robot things. She could only let out that one scream before she was saved by another robot. He set her down gently and got out of his robot. (they magically didn't get hit by a single bullet.) He was a brown haired boy that I think was named Suzaku. What was a Mary-Sue doing here.

"Lulu!" Pein yelled to get my attention. I snapped my head back around and looked at him, "What are we going to do now?"

"W-we need to get out of here." I told them while trying to walk away from the fighting and kind of failing.

"No sh** girl." Hidan remarked.

"Shut *huff* up, Hidan," I spat angrily at him as I hobbled along, "We need to clear this battlefield before we can travel because it's too busy, and there are too many people around to see*huff* the thing."

"Travel thing?" Tobi asked and I nodded.

"We need to clear the area then?" Sasori asked in monotone.

"Aw FU** yeah!" Hidan cheered at the chance of maybe getting to kill someone.

"No, just get away from it." I sighed as I slipped into a sitting sort of position.

"Your just full of energy aren't you, un?" Deidara observed sarcastically.

"Deidara?" I asked.

"Hm?"

"I hate you."

"I know, yeah." He answered as a huge robot came towards our position near a building.

"Not good." I said as I stood and leaned heavily against the wall for support.

"Should we take it out?" Pein asked. Which was weird because I never really thought that I would be in a position where Pein would ask me a bunch of questions like this, if anything I thought he would interrogate me or something.

"Don't kill anyone." I answered and he nodded at Itachi. The pilot of the robot came out of his machine and started to ask us something before Itachi ran up to him and knocked him out rather brutally. He just kind of punched him in his gut really forcefully and the poor guy slumped over. That guy's bad day just got worse, oh well.

"You're bleeding." It took me a bit to register that Kisame was talking to me.

"Oh, yeah, I think a bullet kind of nicked me. It's not bad though." I said with a weak smile.

"Do you even have another jump in you?" Someone asked out of the group. I looked at the ground and debated the idea, it would defiantly suck the rest of what I got in me, but I did have one left. I nodded in affirmation. I needed to get these guys home before something bad happened. I did not want to be the one responsible for an Akatsuki rampage. Well one that is outside the Naruto world that is. I focused on my destination one more time, this time I tried to feel the heat of the desert sun, the scalding sand, and picture the barren landscape. When I felt the pull I could feel my energy level plunge. I felt as if we were on course, but then something that has never happened before occurred. The feeling was that of being shoved aside forcefully mid travel. I wrenched open my eyes and saw a glimpse of my house and mentally cursed myself before my energy completely ran out and the darkness overtook me.

~Itachi Point of View~

I do not claim to know much about this girl's strange power, but the last 'travel' that occurred was indeed different. We appeared at what seemed quite like the place that we originally came to, but then we were sent straight to the desert right in front of the Sand Village. The girl was already unconscious when we arrived, and we also decided that Deidara and Sasori should continue with their mission as we had chakra once again. We then had a debate as to what we should do with the girl.

"We should definitely fu***** kill the bi***. She put us through so much sh**!" None other than Hidan voiced rather loudly.

"She could be useful though." White Zetsu added

**"And tasty." **

"We all owe her our lives." Konan reminded everyone, "If it weren't for her we would be without chakra in a strange world that we knew nothing about. She also warned us of these 'Mary-Sues'."

"We can always keep her prisoner and see if she has anything useful for us to use." Kakuzu said.

"If you don't figure out something soon she will die in this heat." Itachi pointed out.

"Lulu-chan can't die!" Tobi yelled.

"Okay, let's go then. Someone gets to carry her, Hidan and Zetsu aren't allowed." Pein ordered as he looked at everyone's face before turning, picking up the girl's katana and poofing away. There was a collective grumble as Konan poofed off as well as Zetsu and Hidan.

"Tobi will carry Lulu!" Tobi cried as he picked up her feet and started dragging her. Kakuzu seemed okay with this and followed. I gave Kisame a look before intervening.

"You might harm her more if you do that." I stated.

"OMG really Itachi-san!" Tobi yelled as he dropped her on the spot. I sighed and walked over to where she was not-so gently dropped. She was covered in sand, blood, and sweat. She probably had a fever, great. To my surprise Kisame scooped her up in his arms gently.

"You are going to have to lay doctor for her, so you may as well save some chakra." The blue man told me. He did have a point, But I would've had enough.

"Hn." I replied while I was in thought. We were headed towards the base, but my mind was far away. I was thinking of Sasuke and how this girl reminded me of him in someway that I couldn't quite think of. I shook the thoughts and focused my mind elsewhere.

~Lulu Point of View~

Wherever I was, I was warm and quite comfortable and I did not want to wake up. I cursed my subconscious for becoming active and tearing me away from my nice dream of dancing muffins singing caramelldansen. I tried to backtrack to what had happened, but I got distracted by the realization that I ached all over. Ew, pain. We meet again. I also didn't recognize the smell of this place, it smelled like eraser . . . and silly putty . . . and cinnamon? Strange combo. I heard a door open and didn't feel like 'waking up' so I stayed in my current position. That is until the covers were pulled down and someone tried to lift my shirt a little. I grabbed their wrist with as much force as I could muster in my half asleep state.

"**What **are you doing?" I asked blindly, as my eyes haven't adjusted to the light yet to see who was there.

"Changing your bandages so you will heal properly." Came what could only be the voice of an Uchiha. Creepy . . . I've read one to many fanfics.

"I can do it myself." I replied, sitting up with a little effort. I looked around and didn't recognize the room.

"Where am I?" I asked, taking to bandages from him.

"Deidara's room at our base."

"Ew." So that's what it smells like, explosives . . . with cinnamon. He didn't say anything back so we stayed silent until I had clumsily put my own bandages on my wound. It was on my left side right under my ribcage. Therefore I didn't have to take my shirt off, thank **god**! It wasn't that bad so I was pretty lucky in that sense. It made me mad that not _one _ninja got shot. I pulled my shirt back down, I realized that it wasn't mine and briefly wondered whose it was. Probably Deidara's, great I'm going to smell like cinnamon for a few days. I tried to stand up, but Itachi kind of gently shoved me back, I glared.

"What? I can't walk around? Don't want me to find your yaoi manga stash, what? I questioned.

"I still need to heal you so the wound heals quickly and properly, you were only asleep for a day. Leader wants to talk to you and you can't be injured. His orders."

"What kind of talk requires me to be uninjured?" I inquired suspiciously.

"That depends on what you say."

"Ah! Interrogation. You might be surprised by the huge amount of information that I don't know." I lied while he made his hands start to glow with chakra. When did he learn this, this wasn't in the show or manga . . . was it? "You aren't going to do something wrong and kill me are you?"

"Hn." I took that as a maybe. *sigh* His hands hovered near my side and the chakra entered my system. It was a weird feeling; it felt like cool water, but not at all like water. It's hard to explain, like laughing. WTF is laughing—erratic breathing? The healing started to make me sleepy and I started to lean against the headboard of the bed in a failing effort to stay awake.

"How much do you know?" He asked calmly. This guy is the most difficult person to read I have ever come across. If I didn't know this show like that back of my hand, I would think this is quite strange. I kind of figured that he was indirectly asking about Sasuke, and this stuff must work like those meds that make you loopy and sleepy because I generally wouldn't say something like.

"Enough to know that you're an awesome big brother." I said drearily as I lazily looked at his reaction after I realized what I had said would bring some emotion into play . . . probably. His eyes widened a little and he tensed up. He finished healing me before looking my direction.

"I guessed that you might've known a lot." He said. Normally you would expect him to like hold a kunai to my throat, or attack me or something. Nope, just 'That's what I thought no big deal.

"What do you want, a cookie?" I said, still loopy and sleepy. He didn't register my quite hilariously bad humor, "You're going to watch me like a hawk now aren't you?"

"Hn." He replied before leaving the room and locking it.

"I'll take that as a yes."

. . . sh**.

**A/N: So what didya think? Yay or Nay? Reviews are loved, Flames are taken into consideration. Len and Rin are sweet. Byee!**


	7. Author's Note

**Okay, I know that no one really reads this story, besides Aristotle29 (go check out her stuff it's much better than mine lol) So, since I really don't have any good ideas for this story at all, I'm going to put it on hiatus for now. Unless someone really begs me to keep going, I won't unless I get some amazing inspiration and motivation to get off my lazy ass and write this thing. So, I'm sorry to those who were looking forward to the next part of the story. I do apologize, but with school starting and such I probably wouldn't update this story in forever and if I did it would probably turn out crappy lol.**

**3 you guys!**

**(And if you are reading Crazy Friends don't worry, I have no intention of discontinuing that story. So don't worry about that ^_^) **


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